Football Jokes

This page should help anyone trying to decide upon a college learn a bit more about their choice in Schools!  If you have any extra tidbits of knowledge that you feel I have forgotten, please e-mail me!

There's an Auburn Grad, a Georgia and a Vandy Grad that all just broke out of jail. They went to hide out in an old animal wharehouse. The Georgia Grad and Vandy Grad each hid in a box and the Auburn Grad hid in a bag. The Police walked in and knocked on the Vandy guys box and the Vandy Grad replied MOO! The police said..Oh, it's just a cow. After knocking on the Georgia Grads box the guy replied OINK, OINK! The police said...Oh, it's just a pig.
The police shook the Auburn Grads bag and the guy said POTATOES!

Hear about the Tech Students that were 2 hours late to class?
The esclator was stuck....

What is the difference between an Gator and a carp?
One is a bottom feeding scum sucker and the other is a fish.

So There is a Bulldawg fan, a Yellow Jacket fan and a Gamecock fan. They're checking in to a hotel. The Bulldawg fan signs his name, John Doe LLP. The clerk asked what it meant and he said he was a lawyer. The Gamecock fan signed his name Jack Smith MD. Again the clerk asked what the initials meant. He said he was a doctor.
Then when the Yellow Jacket fan signed his name he signed Michael Johnson SI. The clerk, bewildered asked what SI meant. The Yellow Jacket fan looking annoyed said he majored in civil engineering!

Did you hear about the Florida Gator terrorist who tried to blow up the Bulldawgs team bus.
He burned his lip on the tailpipe.

How many Gators does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, but he gets 3 hours credit.

Q: What the difference between a UT and Rice crispies?(Good Show in the Orange Bowl!)
A: Ricecrispies know what to do in a bowl.

Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco Chase?
On the Georgia Tech campus, because that's the last place you'll find a football player.

What does Terry Bowden and Jim Bakker have in common?
They both can get 70,000 people jump to their feet and yell "Jesus Christ"

Did you know that Adam was an Georgia Tech Guy??
He had to be because he was eating an apple while sitting next to a naked lady.

Did you hear about the Gator that broke his leg raking leaves?
He fell out of the tree.

Did you hear that they can't have any more parties at Auburn?
The guy who knew the recipe for ice graduated.

How many Georgia Techies does it take to change a flat tire?
Just one . . . unless it's a blowout, then they all show up!(way to Go FSU!)

Why does the Florida football team wear uniforms made out of polyester?
No virgin wool within a hundred miles of Gainsville!

How many Bama Grads does it take to eat an armadillo?
3 -- One to eat it and two to watch for cars.

How come Gamecocks don't drink Kool-Aid?
Because thay can't figure out how to get 2 quarts of water in the little package.

Did you hear about the Georgia Southern Grad that locked his keys in his car?
He couldn't get his family out.

How do you keep an Alabama sorority girl in the shower all day?
Give her shampoo that says lather, rinse, repeat.

Why do Georgia Southern grads keep their diplomas on their dash boards?
So they can park in the handicap spaces.

Two Auburn grads were walking down the street when they came upon a dog lying on the sidewalk, licking and cleaning his groin like dogs do. The first guy says to the second, "Boy, I wish I could do THAT." The second guy replies, "Yeah, me too, but I wouldn't want to try it." The other guy asks, "Why not?" "Because," the second guy replies, "I'm afraid the dog might bite me."